Relationship Therapy
Are you sleeping next to a stranger?
It’s tough to tell when it happened, but you lost touch with the person you married somewhere along the way.
The beginning of your relationship was exciting. Your spouse challenged you to be a better person, and you had a partner in crime in all your life adventures.
Then your career took off, and you spent more time at the office working on an endless string of projects.
You had kids, which brought a new sort of happiness to your life.
But now you’ve drifted away from your partner. You honestly couldn’t say what’s going through their head at any moment.
Relationship dissatisfaction is common.
And the longer your relationship, the more likely it is that you’ll face some of these challenges.
You’re not the same people anymore. At the beginning of the relationship, you promised that you would put each other above everything else, like work, friends, and hobbies. And at the time, you meant it.
Somehow, somewhere, that stopped being true. Saturdays aren’t for connection anymore. You pass each other with polite smiles and nods on your way to your separate activities. But it’s more than hobbies on the weekend. You’re wondering if you really want the same things.
Or you found something that made your stomach turn. You didn’t mean to look at your spouse’s phone, but you saw a text message come across their cell. You felt like something was up, but you convinced yourself that it was an overactive imagination. You’re hurt, and you want to stop feeling that way, but there doesn’t seem to be a pathway out.
Maybe it’s nothing catastrophic, but you’ve just grown apart. And when you see couples that are still vibrantly in love, you feel wistful for what you used to have. You try to connect, but for some reason, it just fizzles out. You’re resentful of your partner and more than a little mad at yourself. But all those feelings don’t change the fact that you feel distant – distant from the person that your world used to revolve around.
Have you wondered what it would be like…
… to leave your partner? Maybe during some moments of which you’re not particularly proud?
Maybe you’ve wondered what it would be like to have a new relationship with all the freshness and excitement that comes with it. But that would mean letting life with your partner implode and turning your world upside down.
Perhaps you’ve been thinking of what it would be like to be single again – meeting new and exciting people. No more asking permission and checking in with your spouse. Feeling like you were free of a relationship that you’re not quite sure about anymore.
So, you’re stuck in limbo, trying to convince yourself to be happy with a less than satisfying relationship.
You need someone to help you steer toward a healthy relationship.
At Dallas Psychotherapy, relationship counseling is never about blame and shame. You can do that at home, free of charge.
What we do is provide you with the roadmap and building blocks for creating a healthy relationship.
Build an emotional connection with your partner…
One of the early signs of a relationship’s problems is when partners try to connect and feel ignored or turned away by their partner. We help couples begin to identify how each person in the relationship reaches out for connection and how to respond. We also provide practical in-session practice for these skills to set clients up for success when they return home.
Learn to have productive arguments…
If you’re trying to win an argument, then you’ve lost. We have a unique approach to arguing and believe that knowing how to argue well can form the cornerstone of a good relationship.
We teach couples how to identify underlying reasons for arguments, establish areas of commonality and boundaries, and how to employ creative problem-solving techniques. What’s more, we teach couples how to debrief after an argument to repair any harm caused, an essential part of healthy arguments that many couples miss.
Repair the sources of deep pain in your relationship…
A fight is never about what it’s about. We all have issues. When we choose to be in an intimate relationship, we bring those issues with us. We help you as a couple begin to uncover why you continue to have arguments about the same thing. It’s often a deep hurt that lies ignored and dormant until something triggers it, causing a fight. We help you identify those hurts and repair them through honest and open dialogue exercises guided by our therapists.
See the source of conflict before they become a problem…
A major area of research in couples therapy has been predictors of relationship problems. We help couples become aware of different patterns that might be inadvertently harming their relationship. However, we don’t stop at identification. We have solutions such as self-soothing skills, need-based communication, and creating cultures of admiration.
In relationship counseling, therapy is the lab where you try out new methods of relating to one another. If you interact with each other the same way in therapy as you do at home, then you’re wasting your money. You can stay home and do that for free.
So when we see couples running into challenges in session, we provide guided ways to defuse the situation and practice these new skills until they feel comfortable implementing them independently. Sometimes this might look like coached communication with your spouse. Other times it might be learning how to state your needs specifically and even learning how to use methods to de-escalate your feelings so that you can calmly and directly discuss your thoughts with your partner.
Our goal is to provide you with tools that you can use long after we are gone to manage any problem that comes your way.
People want to know the right time to go to couples counseling…
My answer is always, “Now!” If you had a broken leg, you wouldn’t wait a few months or years before going to the doctor, would you? In the same way, your relationship calls for your attention today.
You may have convinced yourself that this is an unsolvable problem. We think that we were taught somewhere along the line that you’re born with relationship skills, or you aren’t – the end of the story. And that’s complete nonsense. You can develop skills in relationship therapy that last a lifetime and bring new energy to your relationship.
Therapists don’t get a merit badge for assigning blame in couples therapy. We’re not referees – we’re here to help. Our primary focus is on getting the relationship back on track and developing healthy skills. We’re not here to identify who was right and who was wrong. Instead, we’re here to help you move forward as a couple.
Give us a call today for a free 15-minute consultation to see how we can help you and your relationship: (469) 225-0344.